Erase me

The host body was in and out (mostly out – and when in, they were mostly “court ordered”) of alcohol treatment programs my entire childhood, and sometimes the programs she was in; there were “family” programs that we would be required to attend. I never really fully participated in any of the … [Continue reading]

Why so dark

I can feel my heart pumping the blood through my body, each beat bringing more pain to my hips and ribs. And I think about how futile it is to cry again, yet how miserable it is to feel so alone, so lost and just thrown away. Yet she has always felt this way, the yelling and crying and begging for … [Continue reading]

Sorry, check back next week

I'm too sick for chemo. Doesn't that sound strange? I'm sorry but you're just too sick to be poisoned today. Have some blood and a shot and check back … [Continue reading]

Sharp knife of a short life

Yesterday I received a call from a friend "back home" and when I answered the phone I could barely make out what she was saying through her sobs. My … [Continue reading]

Did I sign up for this?

I have been waking up again so early and can't fall back to sleep. I have so many things running through my head. The doctors...the drugs, the … [Continue reading]

Lies I still tell me

Sometimes I hate my body. My BODY, the core of my very marrow, my genetic makeup is what constantly creates this cancer. So a lot of days I loathe … [Continue reading]