Resting peacefully after a rough evening

This evening when we were moved from one room to another, G had another breathless panic attack that took some time and meds to calm down. Once again, the horror of her panic attacks are hard to put into words. It was horrifying to watch and no person should ever have to endure such fright.  The fact that she was so lucid probably had much to do with the infused drugs that were losing a bit of their effectiveness, and therefore not able to do their job at suppressing her shortness of breath. She later made it known to me that she can not face further days of breathless torture. And during a quiet moment she told me she knew this wasn’t easy for me and she thanked me for everything I have done and continue to do for her. It was both beautiful and terribly sad. And I am so thankful that I have been here with her through it all. Both for her, and for me.

I love her so much. My beautiful soulmate. It breaks my heart to see this cancer overtaking her body. She is so perfect and sweet on the inside and I cannot understand why something so ugly has to hurt someone so beautiful.  Tonight she rests comfortably. Thank God for that.

Life is not about the time you spend on earth but about how many lives you have touched while on earth.

Thank you all who have asked about G. I am not very familiar with how to work this blog so I don’t know how all the ins and outs. I do know that G cares very deeply for many of her friends she met through her on-line communities and she asked me to keep everyone updated.  Which I will faithfully do.

Peace and love,
M.